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The Great War Master Fan List Flamewar of '49

From: anna@jsf.gov
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re my 1st ficcie, no flames!

O...kay. I'm going to try to be as kind as possible here, but...

First of all, I'm not entirely sure what language this is supposed to be written in.
When you're swapping e-mail and
trading IM's, it's perfectly acceptable to substitute "u" for
"you" and "l8r" for "later" and such. When you're writing a
story, it isn't. Also, I think you should know that "alot" and
"eachother" are not words. There are spaces there.

Spelling and grammar, or complete lack thereof aside, I'd like to
say that this is a very original concept and has a good solid
story going, but I'm afraid I can't. It is painfully obvious that
the girl Taro saves, who later ends up having all these MAD LEET
SKILLZ, is a self-insert. Okay, all original characters, in
fanfic and original fiction, are sort of self-inserts to some
degree, but this is ridiculous. I mean, when Okama-chan (uh, I'm
not a linguist, but isn't "okama" Natsuno-go for "homosexual?" I
could be wrong here, and no offense to any okama reading if I'm
not, honest ^_^;; ) first shows up, she's been mauled by bandits
and left for dead, and Taro comes along to save her and pet her
and feed her and generally nurse her back to health. Okay, that's
cool, Taro /would/ come rescue a helpless girl. What I take issue
with here is a) Taro kicking Iria to the curb (I'm assuming, as
she's not so much as mentioned in this fic) for no adequately
explained reason, b) Taro inexplicably falling head over heels
for Okama after she tells her life story about everyone in school
hating her and her parents not buying her everything she wanted,
c) Okama suddenly becoming the princess of Outland, the Four
Territories, /AND/ Altaris AND just up and sprouting all these
super powers and, last but not least, d) Taro suddenly becoming
too weak to fight off a tak-tak (A TAK-TAK, FOR GOD'S SAKE, A
TAK-TAK IS FOUR INCHES LONG OR DID YOU NOT PLAY THE
GAME excuse me) and Princess Homosexual coming to his rescue.

Look, I know you're young, and I'd like to give you the benefit
of the doubt here. First, you need to start paying attention in
school. You're /paid/ to go to school, fercryinoutloud, and I'm
inclined to wonder if Mama J is not wasting ten perfectly good
ing a week on you. And second, and I'm sorry, but there is just
no delicate way to put this: please refrain from writing sex
scenes until you have seen an actual penis. I probably shouldn't
be telling you this on account of your age, but they don't
lubricate themselves. Thank you.

---
Captain Anna Harper, Junocorp Security Force
Opinions expressed above do not reflect those of the Junocorp Security Force, Junocorp Industries, Mother Juno, Nexus
government, or sometimes even Captain Harper herself.
Not endorsed by city government, the health board, public safety,
or your mom.
Translation: if I piss you off, don't flame Junocorp, FLAME ME.

From: kayomayo@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re my 1st ficcie, no flames!

On 13 Eighthmonth, 3049, anna@jsf.gov said:

>please refrain from writing sex scenes until you have seen an
>actual penis. I probably shouldn't be telling you this on
>account of your age, but they don't lubricate
>themselves.

Anna, you have killed me. I'm dead. DEAD, I tell you.

And Tarosgurl, re: "okama": you keep using that word. I do not
think it means what you think it means.

Trust me on this one.

---
Kay-o :: kayomayo@junotech.net
"Hey, Frizzy! Watch me pull a fanfic out of my ass!"
"AGAIN!? Aww, that trick NEVER works!"

From: angeleyes@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re my 1st ficcie, no flames!

On 13 Eighthmonth, 3049, anna@jsf.gov said:

*bunch of rude shit snipped*

>Look, I know you're young, and I'd like to give you the benefit >of the doubt here.
>First, you need to start paying attention in school. You're >/paid/ to go to school,
>fercryinoutloud, and I'm inclined to wonder if Mama J is not
>wasting ten perfectly
>good ing a week on you.

Fuck's sake, Anna, she's fourteen years old, give her a break.
Personally, I thought it was cute. In need of a spell check and a
good solid edit, but cute. Everyone sucks when they first start
out writing. Oh, right, /you/ just popped out of the womb with a
Literary Excellence medal around your neck. My mistake.

I think you owe Tarosgurl an apology, myself.

Angel Eyes

From: nerfherder@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!

On 13 Eighthmonth, 3049, Anna babbled:

>uh, I'm not a linguist, but isn't "okama" Natsuno-go for "homosexual?"
>I could be wrong here, and no offense to any okama reading if I'm not,
>honest ^_^;;

Yes'm! And no offense taken. ;-)

Nerf

From: IriaZendra@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re my 1st ficcie, no flames!

On 13 Eighthmonth, 3049, angeleyes@junotech.net said:

>I think you owe Tarosgurl an apology, myself.

What about the apology Tarosgurl owes /us/ for subjecting us to that crap!?

WE NEED A CLUE ON AISLE THREE, PLEASE.

.oOo.i.r.i.a.oOo.

From: warmaster-rox@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! that was such a good fic! okama-hime is sooo sweet, poor
thing

kayley

From: warmaster-rox@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!

shut up, anna, it was a good fic, and you DON'T have to play the game to write fanfic
as long as you know who all the caracters are

kayley

From: warmaster-rox@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!

iria, why are you such a bitch all the time???? just wondering

kayley

From: angeleyes@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

What the hell is wrong with you people?

I swear, I'm going to unsubscribe from this shitty list. You're all a bunch of assholes.

Angel Eyes

From: angeleyes@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!

>iria, why are you such a bitch all the time???? just wondering

I wonder that myself! XD

Angel Eyes

From: parsley@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

Angel Eyes sez:

>I swear, I'm going to unsubscribe from this shitty list. You're all a bunch of assholes.

Oh boy, here we go again...

3stix, can you just save her the trouble and boot her now? *runs like hell*

parsley

From: IriaZendra@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 13 Eighthmonth, 3049, angeleyes@junotech.net said:

>What the hell is wrong with you people?

Well, I can't speak for everyone on this list and don't presume to, but I think what's
wrong with us is that if we see one more "fic" (and boy, do I use that term loosely) like
Tarosgurl's come through this list, our brains might implode.

Now I might be a little biased here (yes, damn it, I like Iria, deal with it), but frankly,
I'm sick and /fucking/ tired of all these Mary Sue fics where the author avatar hooks up
with Taro, COMPLETELY IGNORING THE FACT THAT HE AND IRIA ARE
PRACTICALLY JOINED AT THE FUCKING HIP FROM DISC 2 ON. To
Tarosgurl's credit, she did not drop Iria off a cliff or feed her to a Xenomorph or bury
her alive in the Candwani dungeon, like I've seen some authors do, to get the pesky
canon girlfriend out of the picture so she and her beloved Tarokins could shag.

To repeat Anna's all-important question: DID YOU NOT PLAY THE GAME?
Honestly, these days, drooling fangirl twats like Tarosgurl think spotting a picture of a
hot character on someone's badly-coded Web shrine automatically qualifies them to
write for a fandom. Here's a news flash, kids, IT DOESN'T.

Now, yes, there have been some /damn/ good alternate-universe fics, like the Troy/Iria
that came up here a while back (parsley, was that you? I want to say it was, but I can't
remember right off the top of my head), or the Taro/May that 3sticks wrote...hell, I'm
no slash fan, but even /I/ have to admit K's Jaseth/Taro fic made the pairing look
plausible (I'm still going to kill you for that if I ever meet you in person, K ^_~), but
/this!?/ Uh-uh. What we have here is a fourteen-year-old bint putting herself in the story
so she can bang Taro. M'kay. Sorry, but I've had my fill.

>I swear, I'm going to unsubscribe from this shitty list. You're all a bunch of assholes.

*checks calendar* Yes, you /are/ due to go stomping off the list in a fit of pique again
any day now, aren't you?

.oOo.i.r.i.a.oOo.

From: warmaster-rox@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

just shut the fuck up, iria, nobody wants to hear it

kayley

From: angeleyes@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, IriaZendra@junotech.net said:

>I'm sick and /fucking/ tired of all these Mary Sue fics where the author avatar hooks
>up with Taro

And naming yourself after Iria and useing her name as your e-mail address is different
from this /how?/

Fucking hypocrite.

Angel Eyes

From: IriaZendra@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, angeleyes@junotech.net said:

>And naming yourself after Iria and useing her name as your e-mail address is different
>from this /how?/

It's different in that I don't run around proclaiming that I, myself, am Taro's One True
Love. I know that I am not, in fact, the Holy Mother of Astradell and I possess neither
EERIE POWERSSSS, the Staff of Reason, or silver hair down to my ass. I understand
that video games are not Real Life.

Tarosgurl, on the other hand, does not (and I don't see you being snarky about /her/ e-
mail address; I believe this would make /you/ the "fucking hypocrite"). We cannot get
through ONE DAY on this list without a Tarosgurl post about how someday Taro is
going to take her away from her awful parents and rub her feet with scented oils and
how they'll live happily ever after, or how she is the Princess of Everything In The
Game and we have to do her bidding, or how she will "cast a cruse" on anyone who
writes Taro banging anyone but her self-insert. It was funny at first, yes; even cute, I'll
admit. But after the first month, man, it /really/ started getting on my nerves.

...I thought you said you were unsubbing again! Just not until you get the last word in,
huh?

.oOo.i.r.i.a.oOo.

From: jennap@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

Kayley said:

>just shut the fuck up, iria, nobody wants to hear it

*delurk*

Actually, Kayley, I'm over here laughing my ass off every time Iria verbally pounds
Angel and TG into the ground.

And just out of curiosity, how many times /has/ Angel unsubbed?

Uh...hi, everyone! ^_^;;

*relurk*

--
Jenna Pearson - - jennap@junotech.net

From: kayomayo@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 13 Eighthmonth, 3049, jennap@junotech.net said:

>And just out of curiosity, how many times /has/ Angel unsubbed?

Hi yourself!

Eight, I think. Do we count the one where she resubbed two hours later? 3sticks,
shouldn't this be in the FAQ? *flees*

See, she does this all the time. She writes a fic and doesn't get enough glowing praise
for it? Unsub. Someone insults a character she's fond of? Unsub. Not enough people
reply cooing and offering brownies when she posts about the terrible horrible thing
someone said to her in school (which usually amounts to something like "Your shoe is
untied")? Unsub.

Basically, the standard Angel Eyes procedure is:

1. Post.
2. Snipe.
3. Flame.
4. Stomp off list in huff, demand that Syl take all her fics off the list archive.
5. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Hey, Nerf? 50 ing says that if she /does/ bail this time, she'll be back in 24.

>*relurk*

Oh no you don't. Come back here! ^__^

---
Kay-o :: kayomayo@junotech.net
"Hey, Frizzy! Watch me pull a fanfic out of my ass!"
"AGAIN!? Aww, that trick NEVER works!"

From: nerfherder@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA, folks. Here, let me just finish this off nice and
quick.

Tarosgurl, your fic sucks, deal with it.
Angel Eyes, Tarosgurl's fic sucks, deal with it.
Kayley, Tarosgurl's fic sucks, deal with it.
Anna, belatedly, nice review, and you mean to tell me there was a sex scene? I couldn't
make it past the first three paragraphs before my eyes fell out.
Jenna, hi!
Iria, don't feed the troll. :-)

K, y'mind cooking up some /real/ smut to distract the masses? *runs like hell*

As for the bet: you're on.

Nerf

From: kayomayo@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 13 Eighthmonth, 3049, nerfherder@junotech.net said:

>K, y'mind cooking up some /real/ smut to distract the masses? *runs like hell*

I'm a little pressed for time and can't give you proper smut, but I /can/ leave you with
this:

Troy. Taro. Baron Lasalle. A Tak-Tak. Two pints of olive oil.

I leave the rest up to you. Go forth and do my bidding.

---
Kay-o :: kayomayo@junotech.net
"Hey, Frizzy! Watch me pull a fanfic out of my ass!"
"AGAIN!? Aww, that trick NEVER works!"

From: IriaZendra@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, kayomayo@junotech.net said:

>Troy. Taro. Baron Lasalle. A Tak-Tak. Two pints of olive oil.

...oh, K.

I hate you, K. I hate you and wish ass cancer on you.

*smooch*

And *smooch* Jenna, too. Hi!

.oOo.i.r.i.a.oOo.

From: angeleyes@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, nerfherder@junotech.net said:

>Tarosgurl, your fic sucks, deal with it.
>Angel Eyes, Tarosgurl's fic sucks, deal with it.
>Anna, belatedly, nice review, and you mean to tell me there was a sex scene? I
>couldn't make it past the first three paragraphs before my eyes fell out.
>Iria, don't feed the troll. :-)

So, what you're saying is, since I'm not part of the big Anna-Iria-SylvanMist-3sticks
hive mind and have the COURAGE to say what I really think, I'm a troll? Well, fine,
I'm a fucking troll then. God forbid anyone have a mind of their own on this fucking list.

And since Nerf started this immature little game:

Tarosgurl, keep trying, you'll get the hang of it someday. And ignore all these idiots.
Anna, JSF != Grammar Police. Get over yourself.
Kay, for the love of God, stop writing all that gay shit. It's disgusting.
3sticks, why don't you just rename this list "The 3Sticks And Friends Only Club?"
Since that's what it seems to be anyway.
Iria, you're still a fucking hypocrite.
SylvanMist, you no longer have my permission to have my fanfics in your archive.
Delete them. NOW.
Nerf, you're a moron.

Fuck you all, I'm out of here.

Angel Eyes

From: parsley@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

Kay-o sez:

>Troy. Taro. Baron Lasalle. A Tak-Tak. Two pints of olive oil.

*wipes soda off monitor* Oh god...must...get...image...out...of...head!

parsley

From: nerfherder@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, Angel babbled:

>Fuck you all, I'm out of here.

Did I say "don't feed the troll?" I take it back.

/Good fucking riddance!/ As for that "disgusting gay shit" thing? /Fuck you and the horse you rode in on./ I might be talking to myself, but I suspect you read the web archives after you throw your little hissy-pissy fits and stomp off the list, so I'll assume you're reading this.

You need to go get laid. Maybe that will remove the stick from your ass, the stick that incites you to bitch about who /other/ people like to fuck. And no, I'm not offering. I wouldn't fuck you with a stolen dick.
Even if I /were/ straight.

And now that I mention it, every time someone makes the /slightest/ hint or allegation in the "gay" direction, regardless of context here, you fly off the handle. Could it be that you, your/damn/self, are hopelessly wedged in the fucking closet?

Oh, and do me a favor and stay gone till the 16th, wouldja? I've got money riding on this one. Thank you ever so much, shitforbrains.

Boom Motherfucking Shanka,
Nerf

From: sthomas@jsf.gov
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

AngelEyes said:

>SylvanMist, you no longer have my permission to have my fanfics in your archive.
>Delete them. NOW.

AngelEyes, you no longer have my permission to breathe. Die. NOW.

In other words: I'll take your fics down when I goddamn well feel like it, bitch.
--
Sgt. Sylvia Thomas, Junocorp Security Force/SylvanMist
DISCLAIMER: What I say ain't necessarily Junocorp's opinion. If I piss you
off, flame me, not Juno.

From: jennap@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

All I have to say is:

NERF 0WNZ. God, why are all the good men married or gay?

--
Jenna Pearson - - jennap@junotech.net

From: tarosgurl13@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, anna@jsf.gov wrote:

>O...kay. I'm going to try to be as kind as possible here, but...
>
>First of all, I'm not entirely sure what language this is supposed
>to be written in. When you're swapping e-mail and trading IM's,
>it's perfectly acceptable to substitute "u" for "you" and "l8r" for
>"later" and such. When you're writing a story, it isn't.

well xcuse me 4 bein ORIGINALL.

>Also, I think you should know that "alot" and "eachother" are
>not words. There are spaces there.

it taks 2 long to put spaces in. u no what i ment so y r u bein so picky??????

>Spelling and grammar, or complete lack thereof aside, I'd like to say that
>this is a very original concept and has a good solid story going, but I'm
>afraid I can't. It is painfully obvious that the girl Taro saves, who later ends
>up having all these MAD LEET SKILLZ, is a self-insert. Okay, all original
>characters, in fanfic and original fiction, are sort of self-inserts to some
>degree, but this is ridiculous. I mean, when Okama-chan (uh, I'm not a linguist,
>but isn't "okama" Natsuno-go for "homosexual?" I could be wrong here,
>and no offense to any okama reading if I'm not, honest ^_^;; )

NO IT ISNT!!!!!!!!! my bother told me okama means wolf he been to natsuno

>first shows up, she's been mauled by bandits and left for dead, and Taro
>comes along to save her and pet her and feed her and generally nurse her
>back to health. Okay, that's cool, Taro /would/ come rescue a helpless girl.
>What I take issue with here is a) Taro kicking Iria to the curb (I'm assuming,
>as she's not so much as mentioned in this fic) for no adequately explained reason,

thats bcuz iria is STUPID and UGLY and taro doesnt luv her!!!

>b) Taro inexplicably falling head over heels for Okama after she tells her
>life story about everyone in school hating her and her parents not buying
>her everything she wanted, c) Okama suddenly becoming the
>princess of Outland, the Four Territories, /AND/ Altaris AND just up
>and sprouting all these super powers

u didnt read it, she wuz ALLWAYS princes & she ALLWAYS had thos
powrs!

>and, last but not least, d) Taro suddenly becoming too weak to fight off
>a tak-tak (A TAK-TAK, FOR GOD'S SAKE, A TAK-TAK IS FOUR
>INCHES LONG OR DID YOU NOT PLAY THE GAME excuse me)

no i didnt play the game sense when do u have 2 play a game 2 write a fic???

>and Princess Homosexual coming to his rescue.

I TOLD U IT MEANS WOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>Look, I know you're young, and I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt
>here. First, you need to start paying attention in school. You're /paid/ to go
>to school, fercryinoutloud, and I'm inclined to wonder if Mama J is not wasting
>ten perfectly good ing a week on you. And second, and I'm sorry, but there is
>just no delicate way to put this: please refrain from writing sex scenes until
>you have seen an actual penis. Thank you.

ok i said NO FLAMES & this is a flame & u can b baned from the list 4 it
3stixs BAN ANNA NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anna just bcaue ur famos & shit doesnt mean u can just say shit like this
u cant write god fic n e wayz stupid bitch.
TaRoSgUrL13

From: tarosgurl13@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, angeleyes@junotech.net wrote:

>What the hell is wrong with you people?
>
>I swear, I'm going to unsubscribe from this shitty list. You're all a bunch of assholes.

yea!!!!!!!tnx angle

TaRoSgUrL13

From: nerfherder@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: GROW UP (was Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!)

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, Tarosgurl babbled:

*blah blah blah stuff blah blah crap SNIPPED*
>ok i said NO FLAMES & this is a flame & u can b baned from the list 4 it
>3stixs BAN ANNA NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>anna just bcaue ur famos & shit doesnt mean u can just say shit like this
>u cant write god fic n e wayz stupid bitch.

...I am without words.

Oh god, someone page Anna and tell her to get her ass on here, she is missing some
/priceless/ hilarity.

Nerf

From: IriaZendra@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames! [long]

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, nerfherder@junotech.net said:

>Oh god, someone page Anna and tell her to get her ass on here, she is missing some
>/priceless/ hilarity.

She's at the hospital getting her physical, or I would. Fear not, she'll probably be back
before 3sticks bitchslaps the thread. ^_^

So, meanwhile, I'd like to respond to Tarosbint:

>well xcuse me 4 bein ORIGINALL.

Uh, honey? Since when does crappy spelling and horrible grammar = originality?

>it taks 2 long to put spaces in. u no what i ment so y r u bein so picky??????

...I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. No, seriously, I'd
like some enlightenment on this one. It takes you /so/ long to poke your thumb down
there and hit the space bar that you have to mangle the language?

That's one of my pet peeves too, this "alot" and "eachother" shit. A LOT. EACH
OTHER. What the FUCK is so GODDAMN HARD about PUTTING A
MOTHERFUCKING SPACE BETWEEN TWO WORDS!?

*wheeze*

I'm okay. I'm calm. Really.

>NO IT ISNT!!!!!!!!! my bother told me okama means wolf he been to natsuno

Okay, hang on..."okama"..."wolf"...I think I see what happened here. The Natsuno-go
word for "wolf" is "oukami." Since Tarosgurl cannot spell her way out of a wet paper
bag...yes, it all fits.

So, Tarosgurl, for future reference: "oukami" == "wolf." "Okama" == "homosexual."
Got it? Good. Not quite as big a faux pas as that one bint that named her self-insert
Labia, but still good.

>thats bcuz iria is STUPID and UGLY and taro doesnt luv her!!!

...no punchline here, folks, I'll let this one speak for itself.

>u didnt read it, she wuz ALLWAYS princes & she ALLWAYS had thos
>powrs!

Well, of course! She /chose/ to let six bandits beat the shit out of her and nearly rape
her, because Taro wouldn't have had to bail her out if she'd kicked their asses! So, the
moral of the story is, "strong women that can stand up for themselves should pretend to
be weak little girls or they'll never catch a man." What a wonderful lesson for all young
women. If you'll excuse me, I need to go throw up now.

>no i didnt play the game sense when do u have 2 play a game 2 write a fic???

Once again, I'll let this one speak for itself.

...oh, hell, no I won't. Everyone who enjoys reading good, well-plotted, canon-logical
fanfic needs to come over to my house, pick up a torch or a pitchfork, and join my
angry mob. We then need to march over to the home of whoever runs that
godpounded site offering game scripts and plot tapes, haul her out by her toes, dip her
in honey, and bury her neck-deep in a fire ant bed for propagating the idea that you
don't have to pay for the games and compensate their creators for their hard work, all
you have to do is read a script or look at a few video clips, and poof, you will be gifted
with the divine knowledge of All That Is Canon and thus be suitably equipped to
produce fanfic that brings tears of joy to the reader's eyes.

>I TOLD U IT MEANS WOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Honey? Screaming will not change the fact that your self-insert's name is "Homosexual."

>ok i said NO FLAMES & this is a flame & u can b baned from the list 4 it
>3stixs BAN ANNA NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear sweet god above I cannot wait till 3sticks sees /this./ Nice knowing you,
fucktard.

>anna just bcaue ur famos & shit doesnt mean u can just say shit like this
>u cant write god fic n e wayz stupid bitch.

Hey, weren't you just gushing and slobbering all over "Down to the River" a week ago?
Hell, you don't have to take my word for it--Tarosgurl, THIS IS YOUR LIFE!

I submit for your perusal /your exact words, quoted verbatim,/ c&p'd from the archive:

"omg i read the BEST FICCIE EVER 2day, its caled down 2 the river & it has jastha
[I assume you meant "Jaseth"] & may gettin 2gether ITS SO SWEET anna pls write
moe!!!!!!!!!!!"

No further questions, Yer Honor.

.oOo.i.r.i.a.oOo.

From: tarosgurl13@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames! [long]

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, iriazendra@junotech.net wrote:

>>Oh god, someone page Anna and tell her to get her ass on here, she is missing some
>>/priceless/ hilarity.
>
>She's at the hospital getting her physical, or I would. Fear not, she'll probably be back
>before 3sticks bitchslaps the thread. ^_^

yea shes just 2 scard to come back!!!!!!!

>So, meanwhile, I'd like to respond to Tarosbint:

TAROSGURL!!!!!!!!! U cant spell! XD

>>well xcuse me 4 bein ORIGINALL.
>
>Uh, honey? Since when does crappy spelling and horrible grammar = originality?

fuck u iria im 14 yrs old ok?

>>it taks 2 long to put spaces in. u no what i ment so y r u bein so picky??????
>
>...I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. No, seriously, >I'd
>like some enlightenment on this one. It takes you /so/ long to poke your thumb down
>there and hit the space bar that you have to mangle the language?

uuuuuuh i dont have a newsleter but my web sight is jtw.junotech.net/~tarosgurl i got all my ficcys there and my picturs and stuff if u wanna see!

>That's one of my pet peeves too, this "alot" and "eachother" shit. A LOT. EACH
>OTHER. What the FUCK is so GODDAMN HARD about PUTTING A
>MOTHERFUCKING SPACE BETWEEN TWO WORDS!?
>
>*wheeze*
>
>I'm okay. I'm calm. Really.

ur realy stupid to get so mad about somthing dumb liek spaces.

>>NO IT ISNT!!!!!!!!! my bother told me okama means wolf he been to natsuno
>
>Okay, hang on..."okama"..."wolf"...I think I see what happened here. The Natsuno-go
>word for "wolf" is "oukami." Since Tarosgurl cannot spell her way out of a wet paper
>bag...yes, it all fits.

it sounds like okama! not my fault stupid ppl in natsuna cant spell!

>So, Tarosgurl, for future reference: "oukami" == "wolf." "Okama" == "homosexual."
>Got it? Good. Not quite as big a faux pas as that one bint that named her self-insert
>Labia, but still good.

y is Labi a a bad name???? i think its prety!

>>thats bcuz iria is STUPID and UGLY and taro doesnt luv her!!!
>
>...no punchline here, folks, I'll let this one speak for itself.

well she is!!!!!! & Taro HATES her!!!!!!

>>u didnt read it, she wuz ALLWAYS princes & she ALLWAYS had thos
>>powrs!
>
>Well, of course! She /chose/ to let six bandits beat the shit out of her and nearly rape
>her, because Taro wouldn't have had to bail her out if she'd kicked their asses! So, the
>moral of the story is, "strong women that can stand up for themselves should pretend to
>be weak little girls or they'll never catch a man." What a wonderful lesson for all
>young
>women. If you'll excuse me, I need to go throw up now.

ha ha u didnt read it the bandits had a SWORD!!!!!!!!

>>no i didnt play the game sense when do u have 2 play a game 2 write a fic???
>
>Once again, I'll let this one speak for itself.
>
>...oh, hell, no I won't. Everyone who enjoys reading good, well-plotted, canon-logical
>fanfic needs to come over to my house, pick up a torch or a pitchfork, and join my
>angry mob. We then need to march over to the home of whoever runs that
>godpounded site offering game scripts and plot tapes, haul her out by her toes, dip her
>in honey, and bury her neck-deep in a fire ant bed for propagating the idea that you
>don't have to pay for the games and compensate their creators for their hard work, all
>you have to do is read a script or look at a few video clips, and poof, you will be
>gifted
>with the divine knowledge of All That Is Canon and thus be suitably equipped to
>produce fanfic that brings tears of joy to the reader's eyes.

y do u use so meny big words????? just 2 make ppl think your smart?

>>I TOLD U IT MEANS WOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>Honey? Screaming will not change the fact that your self-insert's name is "Homosexual."

IT IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT MEANS WOLF!!!!!!!!

>>ok i said NO FLAMES & this is a flame & u can b baned from the list 4 it
>>3stixs BAN ANNA NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>Oh dear sweet god above I cannot wait till 3sticks sees /this./ Nice knowing you,
>fucktard.

3stixs!!!!!!!! iria is flameing me too! BAN HER TOO!!!!!!!

>>anna just bcaue ur famos & shit doesnt mean u can just say shit like this
>>u cant write god fic n e wayz stupid bitch.
>
>Hey, weren't you just gushing and slobbering all over "Down to the River" a week ago?
>Hell, you don't have to take my word for it--Tarosgurl, THIS IS YOUR LIFE!
>
>I submit for your perusal /your exact words, quoted verbatim,/ c&p'd from the archive:
>
>"omg i read the BEST FICCIE EVER 2day, its caled down 2 the river & it has jastha
>[I assume you meant "Jaseth"] & may gettin 2gether ITS SO SWEET anna pls write
>moe!!!!!!!!!!!"

i didnt say that!!!!! anna sux!!!!!!!!

TaRoSgUrL13

From: parsley@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames!

Tarosgurl sez:

>ok i said NO FLAMES & this is a flame & u can b baned from the list 4 it
>3stixs BAN ANNA NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>anna just bcaue ur famos & shit doesnt mean u can just say shit like this
>u cant write god fic n e wayz stupid bitch.

</bint>
</bint>
</bint>

WHY ISN'T IT WORKING!?

parsley

From: parsley@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/13/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames! [long]

Tarosgurl sez:

>TAROSGURL!!!!!!!!! U cant spell! XD

/!!!!!!!!!/

Does anyone else find this hysterically funny? Because I am /dying/ over here.

>fuck u iria im 14 yrs old ok?

Uh, Tarosgurl? So am I. And last time I checked, the vast majority of 14-year-olds not only /spell/ a hell of a lot better than you, but /write/ a hell of a lot better than you, /plot/ a hell of a lot better than you do, /characterize/ a hell of a lot better than you do, and /act like civilized human beings/ a hell of a lot better than you do. Hell, my /9-year-old brother/ writes better fanfic than you do, and no, I'm not biased just because he's my brother--truth be told, 90% of the time, I just want the little shit to leave me alone ^^;

Anyway, my point: don't use your age as an excuse for your stupidity. I cringe at the thought that you might be in one of my classes. Actually, you're probably not; I seriously doubt that someone who cannot spell "you" in full would qualify for the A-rank school. Are the naps and snacks nice at your school? Have you gotten all the way through the alphabet yet? And watch out, man--that pop quiz on the colors is a /bitch./ Here's a hint: Go outside during the day and look up. That's blue.

>uuuuuuh i dont have a newsleter but my web sight is jtw.junotech.net/~tarosgurl i got
>all my ficcys there and my picturs and stuff if u wanna see!

Boy. Way to /completely/ miss the point there. Incidentally, it comes as no surprise to
me that all of TG's "ficcys" and "picturs" are either a) her usual Mary Sue crapfic/two steps
above stick figures, or b) shamelessly ripped off from /good/ authors and artists without
so much as credit and a link? Oh, by the way, Tarosgurl, I took the liberty of ratting you
out to the real creators of that stuff. Expect flames shortly. ...well, /more/ flames.

>ur realy stupid to get so mad about somthing dumb liek spaces.

Once again: pot. Kettle. Black.

>it sounds like okama! not my fault stupid ppl in natsuna cant spell!

I...I have no words. >_<

>y is Labi a a bad name???? i think its prety!

God! I just--/GOD!/ IF YOU WERE ANY DENSER, YOU'D HAVE YOUR OWN GRAVITATIONAL PULL!

...excuse me. Anyway. I'll explain it to you, okay? I mean, you learned this in health class in your fifth year, but they probably used words longer than two syllables, so I'll try to dumb it down a little for you.

Now. You know that place between your legs? Yes, where you pee. That's right. Have you ever noticed that it looks sort of like lips? The proper name for the lippy bits is "labia." Which, interestingly enough, is a very old word for "lips," but that's neither here nor there. In other words, this particular Mary Sue might as well have been named "Cunt." Got it?

>well she is!!!!!! & Taro HATES her!!!!!!

I second Iria's call for a CLUE ON AISLE THREE.

>ha ha u didnt read it the bandits had a SWORD!!!!!!!!

...one sword vs. BEAMS! from her EYS! [sic]

I don't get it either, folks.

>y do u use so meny big words????? just 2 make ppl think your smart?

No, we just use big words to make you look dumber. Fortunately, we don't have to work very hard at that.

>IT IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT MEANS WOLF!!!!!!!!

Iria, it's a lost cause. ...maybe if we told her "okama" meant "wolf" she'd spell it right. -_-;

>3stixs!!!!!!!! iria is flameing me too! BAN HER TOO!!!!!!!

Ooo! Ooo! *raising hand, one bun off chair* Me too! Me too! BAN ME TOO! *runs like hell*

>i didnt say that!!!!! anna sux!!!!!!!!

No, of course not. Either someone logged in with your account and posted praise for Anna's fic, someone who just happens to write as horribly as you, or someone hacked into the archives and deposited a false post in there, or the server the archives live on is possessed and we must bring a young priest and an old priest to exorcise it.

Bitch, /please./

I almost hope 3stix just lets this flamewar burn out naturally. Almost.

parsley

From: nerfherder@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames! [long]

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, Iria babbled:

*snip*

Nerf ==dead.

*wheeze*

Nerf

From: IriaZendra@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames! [long]

.....holy /shit,/ parsley.

o/~ Did you ever know you were my heeeeeeeeeeeeero...o/~

.oOo.i.r.i.a.oOo.

From: nerfherder@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames! [long]

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, parsley babbled:

*snip, I say*

...and just when I've caught my breath and crawled back up into my chair, parsley rants her pants off! /parsley!/ A woman of few words, but /damn fine/ ones.

Did you ever know you were my hero?

If any of you fuckers need me, I'll be over here on the floor dying for your sins. ^_^

Nerf

From: IriaZendra@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: Re: my 1st ficcie, no flames! [long]

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, nerfherder@junotech.net said:

>Did you ever know you were my hero?

Dammit, Nerf, give me back my brain cell! I need that!

.oOo.i.r.i.a.oOo.

From: threesticks@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/14/49
Subject: [ADMIN] READ THIS. Tarosgurl, THAT MEANS YOU

Okay, I was going to let this blow itself out like it usually does, but...

On 14 Eighthmonth, 3049, tarosgurl13@junotech.net scrawled:

>ok i said NO FLAMES & this is a flame & u can b baned from the list 4 it

I don't recall there being a rule here to the effect that people can be "baned"
from the list for giving honest criticism. Anna was a hell of a lot kinder than
a lot of people would have been. I would hardly classify what she wrote
as a flame, and even if it were, your "no flames" request was hardly list law.

And hey, I was willing to let that slide, but then you pulled /this:/

>3stixs BAN ANNA NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh, excuse me? If you'll pardon the crudity, child, just /who in the fuck do you think
you are?/ I don't particularly appreciate /anyone/ demanding that I BAN SOMEONE
NOW!!!!!!, especially when they do so in all caps and use way too many bangs.

May I direct your attention to #15 on the WMFL FAQ:

"Do not tell the moderators or admin how to do their jobs. Do not demand that
moderators or the admin kick someone from the list. We do know what we're
doing here."

In accordance with #22 on same FAQ, I've moved you to read-only status for one
week. If you intend to keep being an idiot after the week is up, save me the trouble of
banning you and unsub now.

You then crawled out from under your rock to say:

>anna just bcaue ur famos & shit doesnt mean u can just say shit like this
>u cant write god fic n e wayz stupid bitch.

Oh, god, I think I just hurt myself. Honey? Anna writes /way/ better
fanfic than you do.

I probably shouldn't bother responding to Angel Eyes here, seeing as how she's
unsubscribed (again), but I think some people need to know this. And I'm fairly sure
Angel is reading the Web archives to make sure nobody is talking about her behind her
back...

Yes, I am prejudiced and yes, I discriminate on this list. I am prejudiced against idiots,
and it shows. The only thing that remotely qualifies me, Anna, Iria, and SylvanMist as a
"hive mind" is the fact that none of us can abide stupidity.

Anyway, insert standard admin crap here, 24 hour grace period, everyone
get your last digs in now and then shut the hell up. :-)

--
threesticks@junotech.net
~*jtw.junotech.net/~threesticks*~
~*Three Sticks - it's not just for breakfast anymore!*~

From: angeleyes@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/15/49
Subject: SYLVANMIST

Why did you take all my fics down from the archive!?

Angel Eyes

From: nerfherder@junotech.net
To: warmasterfan-l@ezlist.com
Date: 8/15/49
Subject: Re: SYLVANMIST

GODDAMMIT, Angel! FIVE MORE HOURS!

*zaps K 50 ing*

Nerf


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